Welcome to the Families Damaged by Pornography Web Site, a introduction to our message board. This is a place for people whose families have been damaged by pornography to find support, advice, and a listening ear. Anyone is welcome as long as they are here looking to receive and/or provide support in healing families damaged by pornography.

Board Rules...

As stated at the top of the board, this is a support board and not a debate board. That means that this is not the place to try to start a debate, argue that any aspect of pornography is a good thing, or tell the members of this board that they should not be hurting. This is not a forum for defending or debating porn. We have a wide variety of types of people, attitudes toward porn and what is or is not ok, religious views, etc. and that is a good thing. We are here to support each other, not to judge each other's beliefs or convictions.

This doesn't mean that you can't disagree or state your opinion about topics under discussion. It is all right, for instance, to state in telling your own story that you don't have a problem with porn unless it becomes an addiction; that's fine. What's not ok is to reply to someone else's post, telling them that they should just stop being bothered by porn. Likewise, if you think all porn is wrong, it's ok to say that about yourself, but don't try to force that view on others. Leave room for others to disagree with you.

Any inflammatory posts, personal attacks, spam, or other violations of iVillage Terms Of Service will be reported and removed. Feel free to report posts that you feel are inappropriate using the "report spam" or "report an inappropriate post" links on the board.

There will be times when we disagree. If you find yourself getting angry at the poster when reading or replying to a post, please wait a while until you cool down or don't answer it at all. Remember that there is a real person behind the username, and try to think about how they will feel when they read your post. Also remember that personal attacks, name-calling, etc. are against TOS.

It's often best to ignore a thread if it's turning into a heated debate that's going nowhere, or if you find yourself getting very stressed and hurt when you read it. It's likely not worth exposing yourself to that kind of pain and frustration or risking violating TOS over.

If you think a post you write may make someone angry or trigger painful memories & emotions for them, please mark it "may trigger" in the title. Likewise, if you must include somewhat graphic material, remember to mark your post as "graphic." (We do try to be as non-graphic in our posts as possible, and avoid any detailed descriptions of porn or sexual acts unless absolutely necessary.) If a post has enough details to create a picture of porn or a sex act, etc. in someone's mind, it's a good idea to mark it graphic.

PLEASE do not reply to flamers (people who come to the board just to stir up trouble). Responding to them will only give them what they want. The best policy is to just ignore them. One of the CLs may respond briefly with a reminder of board policies and the TOS, but getting into arguments with these people is generally fruitless.

Please remember that swearing or offensive language (even diguised with other characters in the word) are violations of TOS and will likely be removed. (Using just other characters without letters so you can't tell what the word would be at all, though, as in &%$#!, is fine.) Personal attacks violate TOS as well, so please do be careful. We don't want to lose valuable board members over technicalities.

Board Format...

The main folder (Support) is primarily a place to post for support with your struggle with addiction or co-addiction. Any questions you might have, feelings that you are struggling with, or when you just need a listening ear. . . Post in this folder, and it will be sure to be seen by anyone who checks the board regularly. Generally the board tends to be slower on weekends, but someone is usually around and we will try to reply to your post within a day or two, if no one else has replied yet. Usually things move more quickly during the week. If for some reason your post slides off the main page before you get the responses that you were looking for, by all means feel free to bump it back up to the top of the board by posting another message under the thread.

The bottom folder is called the Best of the Archives, where we will be highlighting some of the questions that have been answered here over the years that we have been a community. This folder is for CL's to post in only, please. . . If you have a thread that you would like to nominate, please email us and we would be happy to see if we can find a place to fit it in.

If you don't know what to reply to someone else's post, don't worry too much about not saying the right thing. If you know what it is like to have your home damaged by pornography, you do have what it takes to contribute. A simple, "I'm here and I'm listening,or a ((hug))" can be just what they need. These types of things build community, provide support, and help us get to know each other better.

Try to remember, also, that each person's situation is unique and we cannot tell others what they must do or make decisions for them--we can only give support and offer suggestions to help them make their own decisions.